Last week on a panel an entrepreneur asked me how I learned to be a good manager. While good is a relative term and I’m not sure how “good” I actually am yet, here was my answer:

1. First, you need to understand that everyone you manage generally considers himself or herself to be the center of their own universe. They’re not there working for you—they’re there for themselves. You have to continuously remind yourself of that.

2. You constantly need to take a step back and realize that managing is all about people. Even in big businesses, it’s about dealing with real people with real lives and real emotions. You have to be willing and able to understand that situations arise when you can’t be slavish to process and so robotic that you forget you’re dealing with another human being or group of human beings.

3. I know it’s a cliché but it’s true—you have to treat people the way you would want to be treated, generally speaking. When you have to come down hard on someone, it should be in a way in which you would understand someone else coming down on you.

4. When you hire someone, you have to set realistic and firm expectations and if you rejigger their role, you must be very clear on what the new expectations are. Then you need to make sure that the employee buys in and accepts responsibility for those new expectations.

Let me give you an example of setting expectations. I recently hired my first assistant. I told him from the beginning that I’m not looking for someone who has all the answers—that it's way less important to do things fast than to do things right. I told him: “Things can’t get screwed up. Things can’t fall through the cracks. And if you’re not sure when something needs to get done, ask me. And if you’re not sure how to do something, ask me or ask someone else. I’ve never had an assistant and you’ve never been one, so just ask me questions and annoy me.”

It started off a little rough because he was rushing and wasn’t meeting those expectations. Mistakes were made and I was hard on him. So I just kept drilling it home: “If you don’t know how to do it, ask a question and slow down. Before you place an order, send an e-mail or book a flight, make sure it’s right.” Etc, etc, etc. I was expressing frustration because the expectations weren’t being met.

But things have improved significantly and I think I’ve recognized that improvement with lots of positive reinforcement, which is also really important. When someone is doing a good job, let him or her know it. I’ve worked for people in the past who didn’t give real recognition—whether it be financial, a genuine "thank you" or even a pat on the back. I’ve worked places where I’ve only been beaten up—all stick and no carrot. That sucked.

I guess when it comes down to it, managing is just about being human. The more human you can be, the more understanding you can be. And the more you realize that it’s about more than just business, the more successful you’ll be as a manager.